I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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