Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize