He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You don't make any sense
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