How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
