so that wasnt chicken after all
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need a beard to bite.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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