dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
