My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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