is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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