She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
