Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
