just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
