apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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