i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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