I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this will be a night to untag.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
