God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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