Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
