he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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