Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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