i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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