Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
It's just like the Real World with babies
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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