Please, let me fuck your mom
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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