Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
