My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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