I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
this boner is exhausting
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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