I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
