Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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