Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
