I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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