I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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