Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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