YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
She announced her abortion via fbk
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
