he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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