I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize