Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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