I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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