She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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