I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
