I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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