I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
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Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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