btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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