umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
