put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
