we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Randomize
