Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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