Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
