Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
