just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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