i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
