Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize