why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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