All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
