Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
