The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
