I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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