Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
