I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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