I have demons in me.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
