Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
