sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
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For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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